My Blog

Families today live very hectic lives and often become extremely involved in the day-to-day events without giving too much thought to the future.  We are very busy working, sending children to school, participating in after-school activities and sports and trying to find time for homework, housework, visiting with family and friends, etc.  This schedule continues throughout the year with some variations for school age children who then have different activities and needs during the summer months.  Sometimes it seems as though the family vacation is the only time things slow down sufficiently so we can catch our breaths.

In the middle of all of this chaos, there are very important things we must remember.  Bills must be paid on time, obligations to community must be met, and upkeep of home and cars, along with health check-ups, must be squeezed into our schedules.  These items should be priorities in our lives but, unfortunately, they seem to be secondary as there are more obligations than there are hours in the day.

A recent health check-up proved to be very important and I am certainly glad I made the time to have it done.  I went for a regular visit and my doctor insisted I go have a mammogram at the local hospital.  I did not really want to take the time out of my busy schedule but he insisted, so I said I would go.  The appointment was several weeks away and I almost forgot about it but, at the last minute, saw the notation on my calendar and scheduled the time off from work.  I showed up first thing in the morning, had the test done, and returned to work as soon as possible.  It was two weeks later when I received the call from my doctor.

My doctor thought there may have been something suspicious about a lump he discovered and the mammogram confirmed that I had developed a cyst in my right breast.  Removal was recommended and, although I was very upset, the doctor assured me that he believed it was not malignant.  We made arrangements for surgery three weeks later.  I was at least relieved that I did not have to worry about the costs involved in all of this.  We have a wonderful family health insurance policy that covers all of these unforeseen events.  At a time when the world seems to be crashing down around you, it certainly is a relief to know that years ago we made the right decision when we decided to protect our loved ones with this high quality family health insurance coverage.

In any drug detox program, it is important for the health professional to be aware of the underlying cause of addiction. Obviously, a lot of times, a familiar scenario is that a teenager tries a drug at a party and then continues on to abuse it. However, even in this scenario, there is already a multitude of factors that go into making a decision of trying a drug. How did the teenager end up at a party like this in first place? One of the possible causes that comes to mind is that a teenager felt that he/she associated with the fellow students/friends that invited him and wanted to go and have a fun time. However, while at the party, the teenager might have realized that s/he is in a rather dangerous situation. To me, what is the most frustrating thing is that at parties, or at other events with “elevated adrenaline”, the sensation of danger is altered in a way that a regularly dangerous situations are still perceived as dangerous, but one might feel a certain gist to go ahead and experiment with the situation – what if, despite the perceived danger, everything will turn out to be OK, and the person will come out feeling that he/she had accomplished a dangerous situation successfully. There is obviously a certain ego associated with such, but that’s just human nature. So, back to the teenager. So, given the fact that a teenager senses that he/she has to leave the party that’s turning into a drug fiesta, a person might just be subjected to peer pressure. “What are you, a coward?” – to hear something like that is a major red flag for a teenager, just like the red flag for a bull in Spain (even though I think that it has been proven that bulls, instead of reacting to a specifically red flag, react to anything that moves). Knowing that it is time to go home, the teenager still stays, and, under the influence of peer pressure, or, possibly curiosity, adrenalin rush, or whatever else it might be, tries the drug – and this is where the vicious circle begins. The teenager might be OK after all, meaning that his/her system did not take the drug as an addictive substance right away, and if that is the only time that he/she tries the drug, the outcome might be just fine. In other cases, one of the steps in several years down the road ends up being a drug detox program (in the best case scenario), meth treatment, or opiate rehab.

Recently, we had to do an intervention for a friend of mine, one of my best friends.  Unfortunately, although we were all recreational drug users, our drug addiction problems never spiraled out of control in the way Mike’s did.  Always, a wonderful person and fun to be around, Mike became a whole different person.  So much so that for a little while we were thinking that he might be on steroids or something.  In any case, that was not what was happening, we think that what was happening was that he was becoming frustrated because he felt his life slipping away, and was too out of control to do anything about it.  He actually lost his girlfriend and his job in the same week.  He did get a new one of each eventually. 

When we did the intervention to tell him that drug rehabilitation seemed like the best answer for him at this point, he agreed.  I told him how concerned I was for his safety and well being, and how above all else I wanted my friend back.  Other people said similar things to him, but on TV you always see the person getting angry about the intervention or running off, not Mike.  I think he knew that he needed help and that we all loved him enough to tell him so.  He agreed to enter a local program to try and get the help he needed.  The counselor at the intervention remained a helpful support for all of us.

Well, Mike did go to drug rehab and we all supported him and visited him as we had promised.  It was really good for all of us because we all stopped using drugs because of Mike and now we have fun the clean and sober way.  It is scary that drugs can grab your life and take hold that quickly.  One minute, you are thinking that you are totally in control and just a recreational user, and then before you know it you can’t live without them.  Both illegal and prescription drugs can have this affect on your life, so when at all possible stay away from both, if you do this you surely can not become addicted.  Especially if you know that you tend to become addicted to things easily or have a family history of people who are addicts, then you need to be especially careful.  Don’t worry being sober is actually more fun, you know who you are and what you are doing and why.

My mother was not feeling well and was experiencing difficulty breathing and occasional chest pains.  I was very concerned and took her to the doctor myself (I didn’t think she would go otherwise).  The doctors ran extensive tests over the weeks that followed, and when all was said and done they determined that she had Pleural Mesothelioma.

I had heard the word a few times, but really was not sure what this illness was.  The doctor explained to us that it was a form of cancer that was in the lining of my mom’s lungs.  I didn’t really understand then that it was from prolonged exposure to asbestos, which by the way is the only known cause of this disease.  I asked how this could possibly be, and was told that although this disease is more commonly found in white males over the age of 50, there is also a known risk for women who have worked in schools for many years.  Well, my mom had been a teacher at a local school.  Years after she had been working there, apparently they did have an issue with asbestos and that is mostly likely what had put her at risk. 

The doctor told us that my mom’s chances of survival at this advanced stage were not good.  We asked how long and were told that he would estimate a year or so was the amount of time she had left.  We both sobbed and hugged each other.  Devastated that this was happening, and still partly in total disbelief we went home.  Needless to say I withdrew from my classes to stay home and take care of Mom.  She tried to stay strong, and did pretty well right up until the end.  I prayed every night to God to let my mom be with me just a few more years, hoping that she would live long enough to see me married, or to see her first grandchild.  Unfortunately, that was too much to ask for.  By the end, I was praying for God to end her suffering.  Well, my mom passed only 8 months and 4 days following the initial diagnosis.

If this blog serves any purpose, please if you have any chance of having had prolonged exposure to asbestos, tell your physician and get him to check you out.  Even if you feel fine, by the time Mesothelioma symptoms appear, it may be too late.

Time to get on my soapbox: pop stars glorifying drug use, drug abuse, and drug addiction. Amy Winehouse in particular. She’s young-ish. She’s trendy. She’s incredibly talented, her music and her voice are so appealing, timeless. She sounds so sophisticated and soulful and deep. But my god, that woman is a mess. Had I never read an article, seen a picture, I would still be able to enjoy her music and picture her as an old black woman singing her heart out. Even the rehab - no no no song, you don’t think of it as auto-biographical, seems like she is singing about someone else to me. But there she is again and again, arrested and in and out of drug rehab. And is it coke? heroin? alcohol addiction?

Drug addiction is not something to brag about, sing about in that way. To glorify wanting to avoid drug treatment programs is pitiful. Drug addiction wrecks lives, it tears families apart and it ruins futures for young adults. And drug treatment is complicated. For drug rehab, I picture Twelve step programs, alcoholics anonymous, counseling, out patient drug treatment programs, or full blown rehab, all choices that addicts make, and here we have a singer making it sound cool to refuse to go. I love that song, but the message is appalling. I am sure there is a different meaning, maybe somewhere buried in the lyrics is a lesson or point of view, but in the meantime what is stuck in my head, and stuck in our youths heads, is “no-no-no” “I ain’t got the time”. Shameful and embarrassing.  I know that drugs and pop culture have been intertwined, I know stars die from drug overdoses, this is old news, but something about her is so disturbing.