nthuynh’s Blog

I am currently on Fall Break.  7 out of the 9 students decided to go trekking, but I opted out on it and went to Darjeeling to explore life at the Tibetan Refugee Self-Help Center.   I’m finally on my own without other students or teachers around.  It’s quite refreshing to get to see things on my own.

Since I left off with Prashant last time, let me continue with that.

Aftermath of Indian Idol

A few days after Prashant was voted as Indian Idol, a radio broadcaster said a prejudice comment that agitated the entire hills region.  He said if a Nepali could become a singer, who will become the guards?  The stereotype of Nepalis in India is that they are the police personnel and the security guards.  This comment resulted in a strike throughout the hills region.  The Nepalis closed all of the stores to prove that they do all the jobs, just not guards.  Throughout the week, crowds assembled and police used tear gas  to control the crowd.   Two Nepalis were also killed in Assam.  Things were just getting out of hand.  The broadcaster apologized and Prashant announced that he was not offended by the comment and encouraged his people to calm down.  However, the Gorkhaland Agitation issue is again at the forefront.  Unfortunately, there are internal group factions that are disagreeing amongst themselves so I don’t know how well the demand for Gorkhaland will go.

Intercaste Marriages
The caste system is very rigid.  You are born into the social order of things.  I found out that my host family actually has 2 daughters and 1 son.  However, 1 daughter married someone from an untouchable caste, a caste my family can’t even take water from.  My baabaa, a religious man, disowned my sister and my family doesn’t even talk about her.  It was only one night afterschool when I came home that I found out.  My aamaa said my didi had gone to a “friends” house to visit.  It was later when my didi returned that my aamaa said that it was actually her daughter and my sister’s real bahini, younger sister.  I was soo confused.  I thought that good friends were considered daughters and sisters.  Kinship terms are used often here even for acquaitances.   After telling me the story, I found out that she was disowned.  Wow!  She met her husband in the bajaar.  He is a taxi driver.  She ranaway from home and eloped with him.  For 5 days, no one knew where she was until she called.  It’s been nearly 7 years now since the incident so my baabaa is speaking a little bit more to her.  Caste here works like a little like last names do.  Women take the caste of their husbands so it doesn’t really matter what the women’s caste is.  It only matters what the husband’s caste is.  However, I think Brahmans and Chhetris ideally marry within their own castes.

Obstetrics

For an assignment, I had to interview and talked to locals as well as a professional about obstetrics and maternal healthcare in India, especially in the hills region.  I received good info from my host family.  However, talking to random locals about the details of their labor experience was “apthyro” (awkward…)    haha.  It’s common practice here to slap women while they’re having labor pains to “control” them.  My didi who is a trained nurse said that yelling women during labor are “exaggerating”.  My aamaa whose been through the process says they’re not exaggerating.  Anyway, I talked to an OBGYN doctor about the topic and she provided all the information I needed as well as offered to take me to a remote village so I can observe the traditional birth practices there.  She said the health system is very corrupted and even when doctors malpractice, he suffer little to no consequences.  The most interesting part of the interview was when she told me about her personal life stories.  She performed a hand-prolapse because the baby was feet-first.  She said it was very dangerous and not performed any longer.  The mother and baby’s life are both at risk.  She stuck her hand up the birth canal and pulled the baby out!  Woahh!  I hope to stay with her during my independent study project period.  It will allow me to stay in Kalimpong so I can be with my didi when she gives birth as well as stay with a OBGYN.

I have soo many more things I want to blog about, but it’s getting late so I’ll end with my stay here in Darjeeling with a Tibetan Buddhist family.

Tibetan Refugee Self-Help Center
I stayed in Gangtok, Sikkim for 4 days and learned that an American was queen of Sikkim once.  Her name was Hope Cooke.  Whoa…

Anyway, I took a jeep to Darjeeling…about 4 hours…with another student.  I have a new host family for the 10 days that I’m staying in Darjeeling.  The walk from the house to the Tibetan Center is about 1 hour and 15 minutes.  I can’t believe I do it everyday.  Anyway, to make it brief.  I forgot how hard it was to adjust to a new family, but after 3 to 4 days, it’s getting a lot better.  They have a very big prayer room full of golden Buddhist statues and pictures relating to Buddhism.  It’s so funny to come to a new area and call people your baabaa and aamaa as well as brothers and sisters and then leave within 10 days.  I have made so many new family members while I’ve been in Darjeeling.  Aside from my host family,  I have a room full of grandmas at the Tibetan Center as well as an aunt and uncle at my baabaa’s workplace.  People here have shown me so much generosity.  At the Tibetan Center where I spend the most of my day, people feed me lunch.  They invite me into their homes and cook for me.  The first day was very hard because I met someone who didn’t like me so much, but at the end of the day, I went to another section of the center where I met my room full of grandmas.  The food they serve me is very good.  When I offered to wash the dishes, one of my hosts said that it is part of their culture to feed and treat wanderers really nicely.  Yesterday, 2 Tibetan monks came to my host’s house and we ate together.  The Tibetans eat beef.  We sat around a table and ate momos (wonton) as we watched the National Geographic channel about Tibetan monks and Buddhism while I asked  questions such as why do monks where red clothes with the monk responding to me in broken English and the Tibetan ladies speaking Tibetan possibly about me.  It was quite the experience.

This past week has been the most spirited week I’ve experienced in Kalimpong. The little shop phones were converted to free voting booths and people walked to the bazaar as they typed SMS messages voting for Prashant. I went to a free voting booth to vote for Prashant and sat with a group of other students, neighbors, and random people.  These people are very dedicated.  Some stay for 24 hours to vote non-stop while others take shifts to vote.  I voted for 10 times tops even though I stayed there for about 30 minutes.  The phone line died a lot so it was hard to get through.  Throughout the week, people couldn’t stop talking about Prashant and the events that revolved around voting.  A man in the bazaar voted for Amit Paul, Prashant’s opponent, and got beaten up.  A girl in Darjeeling stayed in a voting booth and voted for Amit Paul 1,000 times.  When it was discovered what she was doing, the people there shaved her head and put her hair in Chaurastaa as a warning sign for others!!!  It was soo intense.  The last day of the voting, I went to the bazaar with my didi (older sister) and people threw rocks at a phone company because there were 20,000 votes pending and people were upset and afraid that the votes won’t go through.  On a daily basis, a jeep loaded with students would go around the villages and cheer for Prashant.  My friend’s daaju, older brother, stayed up all night and voted 975 times.  My baabaa (dad), who doesn’t even watch Indian Idol, voted 25 times during work.  Life seemed to halt here in the hill region as everyone was voting or rallying votes for Prashant.  People young and old, whether they watched Indian Idol or not, contributed rupees or discussed it in some shape or form.  Nepalese from all over…US, England, etc. sent their money in support of Prashant.

The night came for the Grand Finale.  We ate daal-bhaat (rice and lentil soup) quickly and rushed over to our neighbor’s house with cable television.  We thought it would show at 8, but ended up showing at 8:45.  We didn’t know when the announcement of the next Indian Idol would be, but sat anxiously in the living room with about 15 others waiting for the results.  By 11:45 PM, two false announcements have already taken place with…”we are both proud of the two of you, may the best man win…” *COMMERCIAL* and more singing afterward.  By 11:50, when the final moments were approaching, the lights went out!!!  we were all nervous and anxious while also being halfway asleep because the normal bedtime here is 9-10 PM.  We had stayed up all night awaiting the final result.  My friend’s daaju called his friend whose house still had electricity and we all huddled around in dim candlight, listening to the speakers that were barely audible.  5 minutes later, it was announced that the next Indian Idol is PRASHANT TAMANG!!!  everybody cheered.  fireworks and firecrackers went off all over Kalimpong, especially in the bazaar.  A victory for Prashant is a victory for the Nepali-Indians.  Prashant received 5 million votes!  The work of the hill people paid off.  This is the first time that a Nepali was voted for Indian Idol.  The recognition of a Nepali as the Indian Idol was enough for the hill people to spend their time, energy, and money.

With the victory of Prashant, a procession went on in town and schoolchildren wore their uniforms and waived school flags in the fairgrounds while chanting “Prashant” and singing and dancing to his songs.  Teachers and others also joined and chanted.  My aamaa (mom) and neighbors put on their best saris, dressing up for the occasion.  It is a site to see.  This is such a cultural phenomenon!

The other things I’ve done since my last post have been overshadowed by this event.  It was my didi’s birthday on the 20th and I found out from my aamaa that she likes chow mein.  I asked the Program House kitchen staff how to make chow mein and went to the bazaar and bought the ingredients, which included spaghetti noodles instead of the normal chow mein noodles.  I came home and my daaju, who barely ever cooks, made really great chow mein from the ingredients that I bought.  I also ordered a chocolate cake from the bazaar, which I hid in my room till dinner time.  We didn’t have candles so my daaju and I tried to light matches as candles, which worked for about a second.  WongFu productions were wrong.  hmph…haha.  we used a small carosen candle instead.  It was really fun.  We had a bhoj (feast) that night with chow mein, fried rice, some sweet pudding-like stuff made from carrots, raisins, and ginger, and chocolate cake.  Since my didi’s husband is away in the army, I felt like we had to celebrate her birthday and make her feel special.  The day after her birthday, the students and I went on a dissappointing safari in Jaldapara.  It is located in West Bengal and required a 5 hour jeep ride down the hills.  The road to the sanctuary was amazing and good for some self-reflection.  West Bengal was hot and humid and people looked more stereotypically Indian.  Our safari ride involved seeing a few deer, a bison, and some birds.  Where are the tigers and porcupines?  The next morning, we woke up at 4:45 in the morning to ride elephants through the jungle.  The ride was great besides the driver occasionally whacking the elephant on the head with an iron rod to keep it from eating the leaves and continue on walking.  I cringed everytime I heard the “thonk!”  Although riding an elephant was on my list of things to do in my lifetime, I will never do it again because of the maltreatment that it received.

The other mentionable thing was that I had to tell my didi “ma nachune bhaye” (sp?)  ‘I am untouchable” because I was on my period.  I was surprised how unrestricted it was.  However, it could just be within my family.  Other families may have different rules.  The only things I couldn’t do were touch drinking water and cook.

I don’t get the chance to go to an internet cafe much so I don’t get to blog much, but I’ve been keeping track of things that I want to blog about so here goes…by the way, things maybe out of chronological order, however, the timing of the events serve little importance.

Pojas
Pojas are worship ceremonies that are very common during my days here. Usually pojas are predominantly practiced within Brahman and Chhetri families, which make up the upper castes of society. I’ve only understood the meaning of half the pojas that I’ve been a part of. There are big pojas and little ones. The first day I arrived at the program house, the students and teachers participated in a poja and received blessings for learning. We asked for the blessings from Saraswati, the goddess of education. Pojas usually involve incense, flowers, and tikhas (red rice or yellow colored dye? placed on the forehead). I was on my period that day, which render me untouchable and impure. During menstruation, women are not supposed to participate in religious ceremonies. However, since it was the fourth day of my period, I was able to participate after a shower to cleanse my body. The Raki ceremony that I mentioned in my last blog also involved a poja. The Raki ceremony itself involved a little poja that consisted of sisters exchanging bracelets with money from the brothers. However, the day of the Raki ceremony fell on another very important day where men from the Brahman and Chhetri families would change the strings that they constantly wear. To my understanding, they change these strings during full moons. For this, I’m a little unsure. Then, there was Father’s Day. Four priests came to our house to bless us. The other poja I had a stronger understanding of was called Tij. During the day of Tij, girls and women would dress up in shades of red, pink, or white. They would go to the mandir, which is a Hindu temple, and fast for the entire day. The action of their fasting will help bring a good husband or bless their husbands. I went to two temples with my host mom and sister. I wore my white kortha (sp?) and my aamaa (mom) wore a really nice sari. The act of fasting can be as intense as not swallowing spit, drinking water, and eating. There were many girls and women that stayed at the mandir. After participating in the poja and offering various things to the gods, we sat down outside of the mandir where priests would explain to us the history of Tij…to my understanding. I could barely understand a word they said. I stayed for a good three hours and left for home when I felt like I could be doing something else more productive. We fasted until the sun came down and then we ate. Like I mentioned in my last blog, one woman usually serves the whole family while we eat. Yesterday I asked if I could serve and was allowed to. However, my family thought I was famished from the fasting so we all ate together. I want to see how it feels like to serve others and eat basically the leftovers after everyone else.

Asian Toilet
I’m very reluctant in using it. The first day in my new home, I went to the asian toilet called the paikhaanaa and while squatting was holding onto the walls for dear life. I was thinking what did I get myself into. Due to necessity, I’ve learned to deal with it. Even though there is a Western toilet at school, there is no toilet paper and the seat is always wet because splashing water is used instead of wiping. I’ve gone to the extremes of sneaking toilet paper into the paikhaanaa and then disposing of it in a bag when I’m done.  I do feel that using the paikhaanaa is cleaner because I don’t have to touch the surface of the toilet seat.  I surely do miss my toilet at home.

Westernization of People and Diversity in Kalimpong
I came here not knowing what to expect. I was told that most families have television and spend a lot of time watching it. It’s true, after dinner, we would gather around the TV and watch a Hindi series, the news, or cricket (which is similar to baseball, but not at all…hah). Students wear school uniforms, which are usually a combination of white collar shirts, folded skirts or long pants, and ties. The younger generation also wears tight jeans and shirts. It’s really interesting to see the contrast between the two generations. The older generation usually wears a sari or kortha, whereas younger people wear either school uniforms or Western-style clothes.

Kalimpong is very diverse in its population. The region is culturally and religiously diverse. It is a Nepali dominated region with people from Sikkim, Bhutan, and Tibet. Hinduism seem to be the prevalent religion here. However, there are mosques, Buddhist temples, and even churches. My didi (older host sister), said that in school, they learn four languages: Nepali, Hindi, Bengali, and English.

Devanagari
Devanagari is the Nepali script. I believe it is a derivative from Sanskrit. I’m soo excited that I am learning how to read in Nepali too. There are 34 consonants and 12 vowels. We learn about 3 characters a week. I have some trouble with the vowels. There is the a sound and the aa sound, which sound really similar to me so I usually have to see the roman form of the word before I can write it in Devanagari. My family showed me a letter a past student wrote in Devanagari so I have hope that I can reach that status one day.

False Friends and Real Friends
This title has nothing to do with friendship. My French teacher used to call French words that sound like English, but have different meanings false friends. The word for tall in Nepali is agli pronounced as ugly. This word is used to describe tall girls. It’s funny because the kids kept calling a fellow student of mine agli, but it feels like they’re calling her ugly. haha. Other False Friends that I don’t know how to spell yet in Nepali are the words for milk- dude and cow- guy. The funniest thing happened the other day in language class when I was trying to explain to my teacher that my family’s cow gave birth. I confused the two words for each other and said, “hijo raati mero dude aaune”. He looked at me blankly for quite some time. I realized I said dude instead of guy. haha. It took me another 3 hours when I retold the story to my friend to realize that what I said was, ” last night my milk is coming”. Man, I could die laughing at all the weird things that I manage to slip out here. I have soo many problems with past, present, and to be conjugations. *sigh*

Stereotypes of Americans
During the orientation period, the Nepali teachers shared with us the stereotypes that Nepalis have of Americans. Some memorable ones that I have are: they are all doctors (funny because it seems like much of UCSD aspires to be), white (I’ve heard of this one before and have encountered random situations where people call me Nepali or Japanese), pet lovers, divorce-loving, and GTPS (Go Together Pay Separately- the person who gives the invitation here pays for everyone).

DARJEELING

It was really cold and rainy in Darjeeling, but I felt like I had good cultural experiences while I was there.

PRASHANT

I would not be telling you about my cultural experience if I didn’t talk about Prashant Tamang. He is one of the top two Indian Idol contestants. He is the first Nepali to be on Indian Idol and people here are going crazy over him. This whole situation is blown out of proportion! I believe this is linked to the Gorkhaland Agitation that took place here and peaked about 20 years ago. The Nepali people of this region banned together to demand a separation from West Bengal because they feel they share very little similarities with the Bengalis. People here who are fully educated lack job opportunity and they link it to the differences they have with the Bengalis. Other problems of identity and culture also add to the agitation.  They want to declare a separate state. The agitation ended up in bloodshed and the hope for Gorkhaland have faded. There is little recorded history of the agitation and people are reluctant to talk about it. The history of the agitation remains mostly from oral history, which I had the opportunity to listen to from a woman who had her husband killed during the agitation. Since Prashant is from the hill areas, I feel as though they view him as a leader who is helping to unite the hill regions for a common purpose. Kalimpong and Darjeeling are both from the Darjeeling district and everywhere I go, I can see fliers and posters that encourage people to vote. I feel like Indian Idol really does help bring people together. Every Friday and Saturday, people young and old are gathered in front of the TV to support Prashant. It’s such an interesting experience because I don’t have cable in my house so I go over to my friend’s house and the room is crowded with people. The family and the neighbors are all there.

While I was in Darjeeling, Prashant paid a visit to thank his fans and rally for votes for the last two rounds. My friend and I, with the help of our teacher, made two signs to support Prashant. We waited anxiously with the crowd while his car drove by and even ran after it. We walked to Chaurastaa where he performed a few songs. My friends, teacher, and I pushed our way toward the middle of the crowd. My friend started cheers and the crowd was crazy! My family later told me that I appeared on Kalimpong TV dancing to Prashant’s songs!!! That’s soo exciting. My other friend and teacher made it to the front and were shown on the popular news channels, whereas the clips of me dancing were only featured on certain channels. haha. I still think it’s amazing! To explain the magnitude of this, the hill regions held rallies for days to raise money for people to text in votes. Schools are having marathons to fundraise money. Since it’s the final round, Indian Idol is opening the voting lines for an entire week! Therefore, the colleges in Kalimpong are closing to allow people to vote for him!!! I can’t believe this!  The colleges are closing for the WHOLE week.  I think other schools are too.  There are TV’s on the streets replaying clips of Prashant. There are even polling booths for people to vote. It feels like every other word people say is Prashant.

A controversial issue has arisen from this situation. People feel as though it’s a racist thing and people are voting simply because he is Nepali. They don’t allow people from Nepal to vote, although they are allowing people from Singapore to. However, from what I’ve heard, people from Nepal are collecting money and crossing over the border to vote. There are also 300 voting booths that aren’t allowing people to vote for Prashant. This is such a big deal right now!

Tea Plantations

Darjeeling is known for it’s tea.  I went to Mineral Springs and another tea plantation in Maikabari.  The situation in Mineral Springs is a miracle because the farmers there under the work of an NGO has been able to control their own tea gardens.  In tea plantations, workers work at a daily rate, which allows them limited room for breaks and illness because a day without working is a day without food.  A tea plucker makes about $1 a day.  I had the chance to talk to a woman who was plucking leaves.  Although are conversation was very limited due to language barriers, I was able to conceive the dissatisfaction that she was feeling.  She told me her arms and legs hurt from the different positions she has to move to pluck the tea.  Also, the tea bushes would rub against her skin and cause irritations.  The day I went, it was raining.  The women carried umbrellas resting on their shoulder while carrying a basket on their backs and plucking tea with their hands.  It makes me appreciate the opportunities and life that I have.  Although Darjeeling is a tourist area, they are also a backward community.  One lecturer that we had come speak to us reminded us of the many problems that Darjeeling has to deal with despite the pictures people see of the happy tea pluckers.

I went to an NGO called the CHAI Project, which is partnered with Tazo Tea and Mercy Corp.  I interviewed the director and received some insight to their organization.  They are doing a lot of great work in the tea and agricultural communities in Darjeeling.  They are working with individual communities to strengthen their capacity to undergo community development projects such as building water canals, community centers, and schools.  They also have a health program objective.  They focus on the preventative side of health by providing methods for water sanitation such as designing low-cost self-composting latrines in the tea communities.  They provide maternal and child healthcare as well as provide funding for an HIV/AIDs NGO.  They train community health workers so they can refer patients who need medical aid from health facilities or provide funding for medicine.  Another objective of theirs is to develop sustainable employment of the people from these communities by providing scholarships for college students as well as find out alternate employment opportunities for people of the region such as making handmade paper bags due to the ban on the use of plastic bags in Darjeeling and empowering small organic tea farmers.  Other NGO’s seem skeptical about the corporate funding of the NGO, but it seems like they are doing good work for the tea communities.  The funding seems to be going to good use to pay for full-time professionals who can fully dedicate their time to the cause and various projects.

Tibetan Refugee Self-Help Center
To my understanding, Tibet was taken over by China and now the Tibetans have to flee their own land.  The Tibetan refugees earn a living by making beautiful crafts and art.  This center provides a place for the Tibetan refugees to integrate as a community and work together to provide a way to earn a living. I saw a lot of old people in their 80’s working at the Self-Help Center.  They seemed healthy and happy.  During my fall study break period, I want to return to Darjeeling and stay at the Tibetan Center.  I want to find out more about their condition and maybe learn a craft from them.

Back in Kalimpong

Family Life
One last thing before I end. $1-2 can feed a whole family for one meal here. The food is really good, too. I like how people don’t waste food here. The food that they don’t eat are fed to the pets or river crabs. Another issue I’ve been dealing with is the special treatment that I receive. I get served first and eat eggs when the rest of my family is eating vegetables only. $2.50 in Darjeeling at a Tibetan restaurant was enough to buy a pot of tea, bread, momos (equilavent to wontons), and noodle soup (Thugpas). I constantly deal with how much money to use and the guilt of using money here.

This is my first time abroad EVER!  Everything is a new experience and an adventure.  I hope you enjoy reading my blogs.

I’ve been in India for roughly 3 weeks and everyday brings a different experience and challenge.  I’m writing in this blog at an internet cafe in a bizaar about a good 40 minutes walk from my house in the village.  I can only say so much on a certain topic, however, if you find that you’re interested in something and would like me to elaborate, please post me a comment and I’ll do my best to write more.  I’ll try to be as honest as possible.  My experience may also be very different from other students in that I am studying at a Program House, not a college, and living with a host family speaking only Nepali.

Honking Horns

It’s so interesting to hear horns constantly here.  I doubt there are any road rules here.  The rule of thumb is simply dodge pitholes and don’t run anyone over.  I walk most of the time here.  The walk from my house in the village is about a good 20 minute walk uphill to the Program House.  When I’m not looking at where I’m going and have the chance to glance up to see the hills and rice paddies that surround me, it hits me that I’m really in India.  The view is breathtaking and amazing no matter how many times I look at it.  Anyway, the car rides remind me of the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland.  There is actually a bar in front of the seat in front of me so I can hold onto it.  One jeep can fit up to 14 people.  There are people hanging to the outside of the jeep and I’ve also seen people sitting on top of cars as well.  Since I live about 4,000 feet from sea level, the ride up was quite an adventure.  I can’t tell you how many times we almost hit another car.  The road signs painted on the mountain are a good comic relief, yet a bit scary at the same time.  Such signs read “Careful on my curves” and “On my curves, watch your nerves”. haha.

10 Day Orientation Period

I now live with a host family, but before that, to help adjust the students to become culturally appropriate and aware, I lived with eight other students at the Program House.  There are only eight other students on the program with me, which I really like.  I don’t live or go to school at a college.  I go to school at the Program House, where various experts and lecturers come to speak to us on areas of interest in the region.  I also go to an intensive three hour Nepalese language class every weekday.  The 9 students are split into three groups of three so we get a lot of individual attention.  I have to say that I think I’ve learned more Nepalese than I have in the 4 years that i took French in high school.  Having to speak to my host family only in Nepalese really aids in the process of learning the language.

Anyway, the first 10 days, the Program staff helped break us in to this culture that many of us were vaguely familiar with.

1.  Right Hand Rule
For those who have taken Physics, you know what the right hand rule is.  Since I’ve been in India, the right hand rule has taken on another meaning to me.  It no longer stands for the direction of the velocity or magnetic field, it’s a way of life.  Probably many of you have heard of eating only with the right hand in India.  Any food that directly touches the mouth must be fed with the right hand.  The left hand is “jutho”, which means impure.  At first it was hard eating with my right hand only and not using any utensils, but now it’s just how I eat.  The hand rules are more complex than they seem.  When the right hand has already touched food, it’s considered impure and if you like to take any other food from a pile, you must use your left hand, which is less jutho.  So far the hand rules have worked out for me, but I’m still learning the details.

2.  Restrictions and Regulations for Women

What I find absolutely unpleasant is that women must bathe with a petty coat on.  A petty coat is like a baggy tube top dress.  The process has really hindered me from showering, but it’s okay because most people that I know shower about twice per week here.  Women would wear their clothes to the bathroom or public bathroom and put on their petty coat.  Once it’s on, they would undress themselves.  Therefore they are never exposed or naked during the process.  My teacher explained that women should only be naked when they are born and when they die.  I use a petty coat because I’m trying to live like a local, but honestly, it’s my least favorite part of the trip.

3.  Handwashing clothes

In America, I wear different clothes everyday, but I learned my lesson here.  The first week with my family, I tried that and on Saturday, I had so many clothes to handwash.  The first time handwashing was not fun, but now I’m getting a lot better at it.  I wash clothes out of a bucket and rinse them out in the shower.  Squeezing all the water out to dry is the toughest part and making sure it doesn’t rain so the clothes can air dry is the trick to clean clothes.

4.  India’s 60th Independence Day

During the orientation period, we had the day off because of India’s Independence Day.  It was quite a scene.  Everyone was on the Main Road and simply standing around to watch other people pass by.  I met  a local boy in town and he took me and a few of the other students to Ex-Leprosy Hill, where we saw the river that marked the border between Sikkim and India.  What a sight to see!  We then went to the Mela Fairgrounds where many people in town gathered to watch “Goalie” or “Football/Soccer”.  People sat on top of the roofs to watch also.  It just rained the previous night so players were playing in watery mud.  It was quite exciting.  However, my happy-touristy bubble burst when a man came up to our group and made a scene.  He asked if we were from America and we thought he wanted to make convo just like so many other people that we’ve met so we smiled and talked to him.  Yet, he took our smile and laughter as a sign of criticism.  He thought we were laughing at him.  He went on to say that Americans look down upon India and that India is a good country, etc…  We shouldn’t criticize his country.  Whoa!  That totally came out of leftfield.  Although the majority of the people that I’ve met in India like Americans, that confrontation made me realize how others may perceive Americans as well.  That has been the last hostile confrontation that we have had.

Host Family Stay

After adjusting us to the culture and learning useful Nepalese phrases, our host families came to pick us up from the Program House and walked us home in the villages.  The students had a chance to request certain aspects in a family that they wanted, such as having a baby in the family or a grandma.  I requested a family with a baby or a pregnant person because I’m interested in maternal and child healthcare in third world countries.  I got what I wanted.  My family consists of a Dad, Mom, older brother (daaju), older sister (didi) who is 5 months pregnant, uncle, a pregnant cow, a goat, two dogs, a fish pond, green house, and many fruitless fruit trees.  I have such a great family.  I can’t ask for anything more.  I’m learning how to cook and make milk tea.  I helped boil food for the cow last week.  At times I feel really frustrated when I don’t have the language skills to communicate with my family, but when we both try and I can get my ideas across, even though it’s in broken Nepali, the feeling is amazing.  More than anything, I feel like I used the skills I learned in American Sign Language to communicate with my family.  We have a good connection through jokes while we cook and play cards.  When people say sense of humor is important, boy are they right.  I feel like having a sense of humor helps build bridges between me and my family members and neighbors as well as make awkward situations funny instead of outrightly embarrassing.

There is a lack of privacy here.  Everyone knows everyone and everything that happens.  News spread like forest fires.  Although, it’s quite refreshing to have neighbors on the walk home from school that would offer me tea and stop to chit chat.

There are a lot of gender and religious practices here that I have the opportunity to observe.  One woman in my family sits and serves the rest of the family and only eats when everyone else is finished eating.  However, at the same time the women in my family are highly respected.  To me, it seems unfair that she has to wait until everyone else is done until she gets to eat.  On the surface it appears that she is not respected and holds an inferior role in the family, yet at the same time, everyone respects her and cares for her.  It seems contradictory yet maybe it’s just a cultural thing that I feel it’s unfair.

I also live in a Chhetri family, which is the second highest caste.  My baabaa (dad) gives me Tikhas on special days.  I participated in a Raki exchange ceremony, where girls would buy bracelets called Raki for their brothers and give it to them in exchange for rupees and sweets.  I also placed rice on my daaju’s (brother’s) forehead. It was really interesting.

One more thing I want to mention before I end my first blog.  The stereotype here is that Americans are all white.  I’m sure many countries believe this because all they really see is white people on TV.  That has put an interesting twist to my adventure here especially because I look Nepali myself.  I want to break the stereotype that there are other ethnicities in America, too.  People ask if I’m Nepali everyday.  I find it quite amusing.  After saying that I’m not Nepali and American what seems like a million times, I entertained a group of people at the haat bazaar (sorta like a flea market) and said that I’m a Chhetri from India.  They knew I wasn’t because I was with another friend of mine and my Nepali was not that great yet.  However, the shopkeeper was entertained and gave me a bargain.  haha.  I can surely blend in and say I’m Nepali when my language skills improve.

Bargaining is definitely something else to talk about.  It’s how people make friends over here.  It’s such a social event.  People would sit for minutes at a time to bargain for a lesser price.  I’ve been ripped off so many times simply because they know I’m a foreigner.  One of our language class assignments was to go to the bazaar and bargain for vegetables, spices, and random things such as needles and candles.  I spent three hours in the bazaar.  I was absolutely exhausted by the time I was finished.  By the end, I spent some of the allotted money to catch a taxi ride back to the Program House.  I bought everything for two hundred rupees with 10 rupees for a taxi ride, 3 rupees for a cookie, and 4 rupees to spare.  By the way 39 rupees equals 1 dollar, so you can do the math.  Everything was about $5.  Anyhow, I’m leaving for Darjeeling tomorrow.  It is known for it’s tea and tourist attractions.  I can’t wait.  I’m also interviewing a village and hill health NGO while I’m there.  I won’t see my host family for another nine days.  I hope things will still be great by the time I get back.

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